The Truth is Beautiful and Cruel

“Der Vogel kämpft sich aus dem Ei. Das Ei ist die Welt. Wer geboren werden will, muss eine Welt zerstören.”

(The bird struggles out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.)

Hermann Hesse, Demian

Закон на Мърфи за деня:

3. В природата нищо не е правилно.Следователно,ако всичко върви добре….значи нещо не е в ред.

ひびが入る

It means to get cracked. As my plans were. As my self-esteem and my bright hopes for the future.

Also, it 飛び散る, which means to scatter in all directions. As all my ideas at the beginning now are. Blown away ruthlessly in all irretrievable directions.

破片 is what I am now. A small left broken piece of a far larger entity that was full of light. No more.

A 粒 of hope is all I have, a grain, just to sustain me. Will it be able to?♣

Българи,юнаци! Напред!

След победата Това е най-новата новина от Олимпиадата, и всички сме много развълнувани.

Волейболистите ни отиват на четвъртфинал след победа над Венецуела Българският национален отбор по волейбол се класира за четвъртфиналите на Олимпиадата в Пекин. България надигра Венецуела с 3:1 в последния си мач в група “A” на олимпийския турнир и си осигури място в следващата фаза.

Дано нашите момчета ни радват все така и занапред. Чудесно е и че Пламен се завърна след скандала, имахме нужда от него. Успех!

地平線

• 藍
• 紫
• 橙
• 空が赤く染まる
• 快晴
• 上空
• 流され・流す
• 夕焼けが起こる
• 観察

Happy Twentieth, Sis!

Bright beginning of the Twenties,Deni

On saturday my little sister had a birthday and left teenagehood for good. Well, not in her soul, anyways.

We got her all those pretty presents, including jewelry, an mp3-player, a purse and cosmetics.

Above all, I want to wish her a happy life and much joy and health in it!

Second Major Options

Damned be the University of Sofia. Just when I was so strongly determined to study another major and follow my dreams about professional realization, they destroy my wishes. With a cold list of the allowed second major options this year. My choice is not covered. Damn.

It is horribly disappointing to realise how the university  one studies in is so worthless. Here you gain no knowledge and no real self-esteem, unless of course,you pursue those things against all university officials and bureaucracies.

They offer no chance to those who crave knowledge. Money and connections. And I never believed I would fall so down as to admit that is true. Because that is what counts here.

Well, it’s not so bad. Those who are strong willed, erudite and assertive will come out alive and triumphant. They will find great jobs and successul carreers. What about the rest of us then? We better pull ourselves together and scrape up through it all. And keep the hope up that there will be some light at the end of the tunnel. We have to find what we are good at and pursue it, regardless of the administration of the university.

However, my disappointment still stands. To know that there are civilized places in the world where knowledge is respected and people are allowed to grasp it. There are universities where people are taken care of, coaxed and helped. Not here. Here they won’t even let you pay them more money and get a second major you want. But they will take your money for some other useless procedure or bribe, if you are the bribing type. Not me. I can scrape up on my own, but damn they be and fast for me to get out of there.

I just wanted to be a student. Now I am disappointed.ω

A sentence

二人は互いに愛し合い、信じ合い、助け合ってきた。

• かわいがる - to have an affection for, to cherish
• 意外な - unexpected
• 黙って・黙る - to say nothing
• どぎまぎして・どぎまぎする - to lose one’s presence of mind

Friend

A meeting with a friend. Probably nothing better in the world for a human being. And to think that I was apprehensive about this meeting, that I was anxious that time and distance would have separated us. How wrong I was. She was right, as always. Friends are friends forever, no matter how much time has elapsed between their last meeting and their next one. Friendship is there. And she was right. It’s wonderful to be able to pick up where you left off, to converse as though your last chat was yesterday, to share not only information, but emotions, hopes, fears and all sort of thoughts. Such a thing is truly precious.

Yes, time and distance may have had some effect, may have changed us a bit, but with each other, we are still friends. I believe that should be cherished. The connection has to be kept. It is worth it. It’s not a matter of social status, of finance or respectability. Those things shouldn’t matter to us. Because we are two souls that are bound by friendship. The most precious thing in a human life. ♣

An Edit

I know, today I’m in a roll. I just got through most of the day and lots of things happened. Minor things, but stuff that got me thinking, anyway. First, I spent the morning indulging in my creative work, almost convincing myself that it’s ok to do what I love most instead of studying.

Then I had an unexpected visit from Mariya, who is back for the summer and this is the first time I’ve seen her in seven months. We just arranged to meet tomorrow. It was nice seeing her, always lovely to see a friend’s smile. Though I can’t help feeling the time and distance between us. Perhaps we have changed too much since our high-school years. So I am anxious as to what tomorrow will bring - a nice meeting with an old friend or a competitive interview with someone too far away.

Also, I got reading the forums for SU and the second major options and what I got was unnerving results. People seem to think it’s hopeless and too hard. They convey the feeling of desperation. Besides, I realised how much work it would take and that scared me. A lot. And I still have got no work experience or ethics, this will be the end of me, as I said.

Later, I heard from Ves, whom I also have long had no talk with. It was a brief talk, but with a promise of more, it made me happy to know I still got a friend out there.

Meanwhile, I , against all reason, decided to cook the dinner tonight. You know, Japanese style. I will do it well, I hope, but it just gives me so much to do and limits my time,for I have some preparations to do for tomorrow.

Not to forget, right now my sister is shouting at the tv, cheering for our Voleyball team , playing agains Japan on the Olympics. I hope they win, for her sake.

Oh, and , I promise to cook you my specialty someday.♣